[MPASA conference] And… nothing happened!

“I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.” Oscar Wilde said that. Unfortunately I have nothing to report as nothing happened at the much punted ‘debate’ between the Audit Bureau of Circulations (ABC) GM, Charles Beiles and the CEO of Media24 magazines, Patricia Scholtemeyer.

I don’t think I can recall a more pointless presentation at any event in this industry. I’ve seen more controversy and action at a knitting circle.

I suppose we were being optimistic in thinking that anything would happen at a Magazine Publishing Association of SA conference. This is the same organisation that has given the most watered-down and muted reactions to what is probably the worst scandal to hit the magazine industry in South Africa and one of the worst in the media industry ever, in our history.

And it is an organisation in a Catch-22 situation with a board headed up by one of the most powerful women in the magazine publishing industry, Scholtemeyer, herself. And the MPASA chair credited by her peers as having a hugely positive influence on MPASA workings in the main.

The ABC’s communication has always been appalling and the controversial board of the ABC we all know is split over the whole issue anyway, with Caxton elements gunning for Media24, so we really didn’t expect anything from Charles Beiles, the GM. But a dry lecture on the workings of the ABC was just boring. You don’t make an impact on an industry and build credibility of a brand by avoiding an issue and pretending it doesn’t exist, when everyone is just sitting there waiting for the main protagonists (ie, the ABC, MPASA, Media24) to say something!

One also wonders if her cringe-worthy 10 minutes on stage was any indication of Scholtemeyer’s career stability at Media24? Because if ever there was an opportunity for her to stand up and gain the respect of her industry and debate the issue at stake, this was it. I suspect Media24 top brass has shut her down.

So, how does someone say nothing in the midst of a scandal? They talk about what the ABC (Audit Bureau of Circulations) means to them.

For Scholtemeyer, and this is for real, ‘ABC’ means (cute little acronym breakdown all from her):

• A – Audience: as in the audience are the future…
• B – Basics: as in let’s get back to the basics of editorial quality
• C – Clarity: as in ask the ABC if you don’t know something about ABCs… (SAY WHAT?)

I really don’t have anything more to say about such an appalling display and in all seriousness, the MPASA should have cancelled the slot that subject us to such inanity.