[Events] Olivia’s twist on good food and wine

I’m sitting at the Good Food and Wine Show, and (rather sadly) dodging wine tastings and shooters left, right and centre – lest I be rendered completely squiffy and they have to cart me out of here in a trolley. That, and of course it may not be totally kosher to be caught drinking on the job.

This being my first time at the show, I’m absolutely amazed at the range of products and services on display – from food, drinks, condiments and spices, to cooking utensils and ranges, packaging, chef and waiter schools… The list goes on and on and on… I keep expecting to see Homer Simpson speed-wobble by, hoovering up a tray of pastries (”mmm, dooo-nuts”), while trying to ditch the security guards who have an APB out on him for demolishing the chocolate stands.

To say the expo is astronomical – or should that be gastronomical? – is an understatement. The show spans three halls of the CTICC and you could wander all day – starting with breakfast at one end and finishing with after-dinner mints at the other – and there’s sure to be stands you’ve missed.

As with all the food (glorious food!) the presentation of the show is exquisite – the stands are bright, lively and inviting – and the sensational smells are so enticing, you’re never sure whether to start with the Indian curries and samoosas or Italian pastas, lasagnes and focaccias. And all the little morsels of cheese, drunken fruits, petite pancakes, pies, chocolates and truffles, washed down with shot glasses of organic fruit juice or a snifter of 20 year old brandy… I’d better stop there or I’m likely to short my keyboard with all this drooling.

For the culinary professionals – I’ts every chef’s wet dream. Between their own deft displays of knife-wielding excellence, they can be seen sloping off to the product stands to try out some new flavours. A little bit of this, a little bit of that and voila! A whole new dish, created right beneath your nose from products available right in this, er, oversized pantry.

Even the bartenders are in their element, mixing cocktails with a show of twirling bottles and spinning shakers that would put Tom Cruise to shame.

Rather aptly (in this packed arena), Crowded House’s line “Can I have another piece of chocolate cake?” has been my personal motto today. Although another of their songs keeps coming to mind and I hope they’ll forgive me for doing a little of my own slicing and dicing and adding of my own ingredients here:

Four thousand cuisines in one day
Lining the long depths of your intestinals
Drinks above and snacks below
Fine food on black counters on display in each domain

Tequila keeps you feeling warm
The temperature of hobs aflame
For four thousand cuisines in one day

Smiling as the sushi comes round
You can tell a cheese just from the way it smells
Cocktail shakers get spun around
And I will have to come again, again

Scents will waft me to their will
Round the beef and through the till
All the tastes you can’t explain
Four thousand cuisines in one day

Wine soaks up
with grain, with grain

Fills my gut
With four thousand cuisines in one day

It pays to make a stand delicious
Eating in the deli sheds
Finding out wherever there’s convection there is flame
Only one choc away
From four thousand cuisines in one day

Wine soaks up
With grain, with grain
Fills my gut
With four thousand cuisines in one day